It's not surprising to see a gentle, calm person blaring off in anger on slight provocation. In fact it is often believed that the seemingly calm and quiet people are the ones who do unspeakable things when they are angry.This might not be far from the truth. Growing up, I was always the calm one who didn't have issues with anyone offending me but yet I found myself blaring off at someone who has offended me over a long period of time. The rage of my anger would be so fierce that people would conclude that I have been bottling up offences. After I'd finish venting off, I'd go to my room to wallow in guilt and self pity at my attitude. I'd keep asking myself why I lacked self control at the same time, trying to justify my anger. Afterwards, I'd avoid the person who made me angry as much as possible till I was satisfied at the distance kept.
The truth is that, this is not meant to be normal. This kind of anger leads to sin. Ephesians 4:26-32 says '...be angry and sin not.' It is not a sin to be angry at someone's behaviour to want to correct them or to be angry at your bad habit or mediocrity but it is a sin if that anger makes you do things you end up regretting. Some people see blaring off as cooling off. This is risky because many words you say in he heat of anger are piercing and damaging to the person you said them to. Moreover you create a wrong impression about yourself. Now, I am extremely happy I don't act like that any more. Even though I am angry at someone, it does not last till it affects me or them. Let me show you how that became my normal;
- I REALIZED THAT ANGER IS A FORM OF PRIDE: The root cause of every angry is the feeling of being unfairly treated. This means you claim you deserve better from that person or situation but you are also blind to your shortcomings. You have had enough of that person so you just want to give them a 'piece of your mind'. You feel you are correct to be angry. As long as you keep thinking this way, anger will always be your companion in life. The solution to this is to stop making excuses for your anger and start making excuses for the person who offended you. Maybe the person has a lower level of understanding than you and could not comprehend you. Maybe the person was actually wrong and you are right but you making excuses for that person is not on the basis of who was right or wrong but you saving yourself from the negative effect of anger.
- PEOPLE TALK BASED ON THEIR PERSPECTIVES: When you get you get to understand that two cannot work together except they agree and it takes wisdom to make someone agree with you because your opinions are not always right, you will stop getting affected when people misunderstand you.
- YOU CAN SETTLE THINGS OUT WITHOUT YELLING: A soft approach turns away many ill feelings. Raising your voice in anger actually makes you a fool. While the other person might be silent on you, you will be the only on ranting. Is that not weird? Besides empty barrel makes the loudest noise. Then if you and the person are yelling at each other, how stressful that is when you can simply talk things out in a diplomatic manner. People who yell or fight in anger are usually the weakest. It shows you have no strength of emotions.
- EVEN JESUS GOT ANGRY SO I STOPPED CONDEMNING MYSELF: In the bible, while traders sold goods in front of the temple, Jesus got angry at them, took out a whip and started flogging them while pushing off their goods. This does not mean anger was His is nature but we can see that if Jesus got angry, we are not exempted. It is what we do in the anger that matters and if our anger is Justifiable according to God's words. The bible says '...passion for His house consumed me'. So Jesus reacted based on that. Meanwhile, you should not wallow in self pity when you flare up. Surrender your emotions, will and Intentions to Our Saviour, Jesus Christ. Tell Him to direct your anger to the right things. He will help you because He helped me. Also, you will find out that the matter the Lord directs your anger to, He Himself frowns at and He will lead you to change.
- I SET MY MIND ON THINGS ABOVE: Many times, most things we are furious at are minor and mundane. e.g. a junior insulted you, you were gossiped at, someone disrespected you, etc.. All these will not get to you if your mind is fixed on the right things like getting to your destiny, walking in God's perfect will and winning souls to God's kingdom. Most importantly, is fixing your mind on Jesus, because He will keep you in perfect peace.